Visibility and Being Seen: Necessary Ingredients To Success Online?

BEINGSEEN

One of the difficult aspects of running a business online is the need to put yourself out there. For people to see. For people to interact with.

What I’ve learned in the past few years about my own visibility issues is this: there’s the everyday activities that you’re comfortable doing, and those lead to regular results.

To go off the charts with your business, you need to get outside of your comfort zone. That’s where the magic happens.

So if you’re hesitating about hitting publish on a daring blog post, getting in front of the video camera, or owning your best self… I’ve got solutions for you!

Visibility and Being Seen

The Key Ingredients to Your Success Online

In my experience, it’s only when the pain of not putting yourself out there overpowers the pain of being visible that things really change.

What that means is that you really need to want to make a big difference in the world and in the lives of your clients and customers… because that’s when you can get over your own visibility issues.

If you struggle with taking actions that leave you exposed to the world at large online, this your new mantra. Repeat after me:

“It’s not about me, it’s about the people I’m serving.” Click to tweet!

When you’re focused on being of service, having fun, and loving what it is that you do… you naturally stay humble, and any weird side effects you might imagine just fade away.

Scared of becoming internet famous and losing touch with the people who matter most to you? Not sure if you can handle the hate mail or other people talking about you behind your back? Not sure what people will think when you really step up and own your incredible gifts?

Raise your internal barAll of these are valid fears, but if you take a closer look, you’ll see that they’re just internal blocks that are designed to keep you safe. You can’t know what will happen after you hit publish on a blog post that’s close to your heart. You might get strong reactions, or no reactions at all.

What happens on the outside isn’t nearly as important as what happens on the inside, it’s how you deal with it that matters.

The key is to take it one baby step at a time. You don’t need to publish the most controversial post in the world on the biggest blog on your first day. But you should start publishing regularly… then watch and see how your muscles for dealing with what comes your way improve!

Oh, and by the way… you train people how to treat you. If you don’t accept haters and bad comments, you won’t get them!

What’s the key to being seen?

The key to allowing yourself to be seen online and off, is vulnerability. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend Brene Brown’s “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” book. Trust me, you’ll thank me later!

Vulnerability is endearing, it makes you stronger, and it reminds us that we’re all human beings.

Over to you now…

I want to know what things you’ve felt resistance to when it comes to being visible online.

Or, leave a comment and let us know of an experience when you put yourself out there and were pleasantly surprised!

47 Comments

  1. Liz Walsh on October 23, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    Hi Nathalie
    Thank you for this video I have fear of rejection when I put myself out there you are so right in changing your mindset and thinking it can help push you forward.
    What could you suggest to overcome the fear of getting out there and rejection?



  2. Kristin Alvestad on October 23, 2013 at 4:08 pm

    I'm not able to watch the video. It just becomes a black picture when I click the arrow. I'm using a mac and have done the latest updates. Any idea what it could be?



  3. Maggie Patterson on October 23, 2013 at 9:27 am

    Thank you so much for this post Nathalie! Very timely for me personally. After a career spent behind the scenes making other people look good, putting myself out there is harder than I expected. It’s one thing to tell your clients to do something, but another to do it yourself.

    Love your words of advice – “what happens on the inside” – that’s a great perspective on it and one I will take to heart.

    With gratitude, Maggie



    • Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 4:39 pm

      Yay Maggie! So happy you’re taking this to heart. And I can so relate, I was behind the scenes in many ways for a few years and only recently been able to step out in this way. :)



  4. Heidi Isager on October 23, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    So true :)



  5. Jenni on October 23, 2013 at 9:40 am

    thanks for this reminder Nathalie! I just heard a similar message recently – isn’t it interesting how the same things show up. i love what you said – “It’s not about me. It’s about being of service.” asking each day, how can I serve? puts me in such a better mindset to go at it.



    • Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 4:40 pm

      Awesome Jenni! Sometimes we need to hear the same thing a few times for it to really sink in, and for us to be able to take action on it. :)



  6. webly on October 23, 2013 at 9:52 am

    Such a great topic today. You are right Nathalie Lussier this is not about me and about the people that I want to serve. My only resistance now is doing a youtube channel. It makes me nervous but I know this is something that will propel my business.



    • Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 4:41 pm

      Hey Webly! You can always work up to YouTube, it doesn’t have to be the first thing you do if you’re not comfortable. That being said, I know you’re amazing and your personality will shine through beautifully on camera. :)



  7. Elyse Sparkes on October 23, 2013 at 10:06 am

    I really needed to hear this today!

    I’m hosting an event for female entrepreneurs this Sunday and I’m starting to feel vulnerable about putting myself out there, but I know it’s going to be a powerful event so I have to keep talking about it and getting the word out. ;) I’m also working on creating new projects and programs for my business and I think I need to confidence to step forward and know that what I’m doing is helping people.

    Thanks for this encouragement Nathalie!



    • Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 4:42 pm

      Woohoo Elyse! I’m so excited for your event happening on Sunday. And it’s totally normal to feel a little tender or vulnerable right before you do something big and outside your comfort zone like that. :)



  8. Claudia on October 23, 2013 at 10:08 am

    I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I’m terrified of getting in front of the camera. My excuse is that I don’t have the right set up, my house doesn’t have good lighting, I don’t have thr right equipment to make it look good …

    I think there is a little perfectionist in me sabotaging my progress. ;)



    • Eleanor Beaton on October 23, 2013 at 12:10 pm

      Claudia, Nathalie:

      Great post and fantastic reply! I too have had a lot of hangups about putting myself out there on video. It invokes a lot of inadequacy fears — that i’m not good-looking enough, that my teeth are too big, and perhaps most fear-inducing, that people will see that I’m actually an imperfect human being. Yesterday I did a FANTASTIC one-day workshop with on-camera coach and video marketing expert Jaeny Baik. She helps women entrepreneurs shine on camera. She told me it was unbelievalbe how many women let fears about what people will think/what they look like, get in the way of putting themselves out there to fulfill their higher purpose. Here’s a link to a great video she posted recently about why being perfect isn’t all that:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6iAJ4qOedQ
      Check it out…and enjoy!



  9. Arpana Vora on October 23, 2013 at 5:52 pm

    Hi Nathalie
    THANK YOU for this platform!
    First, you are serving me and many others with your efforts, videos and friendly attitude. Your words today really hit one of many nerves for me today….my fear of success (which really means that I fear that if/when I achieve my goal(s) I will not know how to proceed or manage what I have in front of me. I realize today that this is because I am then left to be vulnerable in requiring "Help" and the need to depend on others to achieve and perform as I do. Being a perfectionist when it comes to service and etiquette, I am terrified of someone else misrepresenting or under – performing on behalf of my solo efforts as an entrepreneur and successful mother. My voice just shrivels when I think about how to face someone and tell them that someone else will be working with them on my behalf. This I do believe is self sabotage so that I do not feel the pressure to succeed. This is a very dizzying spinning wheel of thoughts and emotions. How do I rise above and beyond my fear of my own success? This by the way is the very first time I have ever articulated my self to this degree, online. Refreshing!



  10. Paleo Fitness Mama on October 23, 2013 at 7:17 pm

    Thank you for the great video and motivation! It is hard to really put yourself out there and what you believe in, in fear of offending people, but you will never be able to help anyone that way!



  11. Paleo Fitness Mama on October 23, 2013 at 7:17 pm

    Thank you for the great video and motivation! It is hard to really put yourself out there and what you believe in, in fear of offending people, but you will never be able to help anyone that way!



  12. Marsha from YesYesMarsha.com on October 23, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    PERFECT TIMING!!

    I literally just *last week* put up my first ever video blog and as exciting as it is, and as lovely as the reactions have been, it also feels a bit terrifying, for all the reasons you talk about!
    I will remember now, “It’s not about me, it’s about the people I’m serving.”

    I’ve also become a bit obsessed with Brené Brown, so I’ll also try and channel her!



  13. Laura Bethmann on October 23, 2013 at 8:07 pm

    The simple truth is if we don't put it out there we're guaranteed that nothing will happen. Yes, I've been scared to death every time I go for something, but I do it anyway. No work I've put out there has ever been perfect but I realized that if I waited for perfection I'd be waiting a very, very long time. So I just go for it and let the scary feelings have their way with me. I get ignored, rejected or have bad reviews sometimes, but I've also participated in several museums shows, had 3 books accepted for publication, demonstrated my work on national television a number of times, and had other opportunities that surprised me along the way. I'm scared still, always will be. But we can't let that stop us!



  14. Joe Master on October 23, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    Truer words can't be spoken, Laura Bethmann.



  15. Laura Bethmann on October 23, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    So, ok, expanding my online presence has gotten to me. After I just stated my constant fear, but that do it anyway, I have to admit I have a ways to go getting myself out there online!



  16. Laura Bethmann on October 23, 2013 at 8:19 pm

    That's right, Joe! Although, to be honest, I just posted again owning up to how I have a way to go getting myself 'out there' online!!



  17. Julieta on October 23, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    Hi Nathalie!

    This week I am receiving all kind of e-mails, tweets and comments about this subject, I think the universe is telling me “Get out there girl”.

    I have a plan for my business, before I started taken it as a business I wanted to create the habit of blogging once a week and be present on social media. I have done it.

    Know it is time to guest post and make webinars, it is time to make my list huge and help as many people I can.

    How do I make this phrase big?: I AM F*CKING SCARED!

    I hate to procrastinate, but I am doing it. I am fighting myself because I am very scared of been invisible. I don’t really mind a rejection because I truly believe a rejection brings you growth, but what if I am invisible?

    If any of you can help, please tell me: GO AND DO IT!

    One reason for this: I work face to face with people and is so easy to read their expressions and serve them, but in the Internet I can not see you :( My superpower is gone snif snif

    (A little respect for my vulnerability)



    • Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 4:45 pm

      I totally hear you on this Julieta! And you can totally DO IT! It’s going to take some warm ups, getting used to it, and not letting yourself talk yourself out of it. ;)

      I love and honor your vulnerability, and I think the fear of being invisible is a big one, too. Would you be okay if just one person saw you? I think that one of the things that happens is that we translate the in person stuff to online if we do it gradually.



      • Julieta on October 23, 2013 at 5:45 pm

        I would be happy with one person. I always keep in mind “The power of One” from Derek Halpern. And that is what I’m focusing: make happy ONE person.

        Thank you Nathalie!



  18. Your Brain Health on October 23, 2013 at 8:53 pm

    Ohh… great topic Nathalie, as usual. If I stop and think too hard I get all tied up in knots about what people might be saying about me behind my back. I was petrified launching my blog – I write about brain health, and even though I'm a PhD neuroscientist and have worked as a science writer for years – even THEN I was scared that people might think 'what does SHE know'! I've really overcome this by writing about science and sticking to the facts, and just putting my own spin or voice on it.



  19. Felicia Gentry on October 23, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    Okay, okay, okay!!! I hear you loud and clear… It's time for me to stop procrastinating, self sabotaging, and being a big scaredy cat about putting my message and mess out to the world. The world has been waiting. I can't keep hiding. Thanks Nathalie for being that little voice I need to go for it. Ready or not here I come



  20. Felicia Gentry on October 23, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    Okay, okay, okay!!! I hear you loud and clear… It's time for me to stop procrastinating, self sabotaging, and being a big scaredy cat about putting my message and mess out to the world. The world has been waiting. I can't keep hiding. Thanks Nathalie for being that little voice I need to go for it. Ready or not here I come



  21. Felicia Gentry on October 23, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    Okay, okay, okay!!! I hear you loud and clear… It's time for me to stop procrastinating, self sabotaging, and being a big scaredy cat about putting my message and mess out to the world. The world has been waiting. I can't keep hiding. Thanks Nathalie for being that little voice I need to go for it. Ready or not here I come



  22. Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 11:33 pm

    Very refreshing Arpana! Thank you so much for sharing of yourself so deeply and letting us see you, and your potential for massive success too!

    As for requiring help and having people work on your behalf with your clients/customers… stay tuned, next week's video is all about delegating! :)



  23. Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 11:34 pm

    I totally hear you Laura on still having those scared feelings creep up – and still moving through it to keep going for what you want! You're an inspiration! And we all have more of our journey to go. ;)



  24. Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 11:37 pm

    Hi Liz!

    Ahh rejection… it's a tough one huh? I think that the mantra from this episode is going to help you a lot here. If you're really focusing on helping people, then it's totally cool if people don't want your help. You'll find those who do know they want and need it! :)



  25. Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 11:37 pm

    Absolutely! Thanks so much for commenting, you're spot on!



  26. Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 11:37 pm

    Hi Kristin! Hmm that's so strange, can you watch it on the youtube channel with no issues? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1P26Ln65tw



  27. Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 11:38 pm

    Thanks Heidi! :)



  28. Nathalie Lussier on October 23, 2013 at 11:38 pm

    YES! Go girl and I so believe in you!



  29. Ron Cooks on October 24, 2013 at 1:32 am

    Ditto!!!



  30. Keri on October 24, 2013 at 7:57 am

    Such great timing on this post, thank you! I recently dealt with cyber bullying on Twitter and had a very disparaging blog post written about me – taking screen shots and saying awful comments. That’s set me back a little, but at the end of the day it’s just about learning how to deal (ignore) them, and continue on. Onwards and upwards!



    • Nathalie Lussier on October 27, 2013 at 1:20 pm

      Oh I’m so sorry to hear you had to go through that experience Keri. It sounds like you’re getting back on track, and we’re here to love and support you onto better and greater things! :)



  31. Jules Galloway on October 29, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    I used to worry about rejection, especially when posting recipes on my blog (what if someone said they tasted crap???). But then I realized that by not posting the recipes, in a way I was rejecting my own work and saying it wasn’t good enough to put out there. What I’ve noticed down the track is that I get a lot of feedback and it’s 99% positive. It makes my heart sing, and then any negative comments are like water off a duck’s back.



  32. Katie on November 3, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    This post came at a good time for me. I think I’ve definitely been putting up these blocks of “being afraid to put myself out there” that are really just blocks because I’m afraid of succeeding!



  33. Dina Morrongiello Burke on November 5, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    well said Nathalie! My biggest fear is the technical aspect of making the videos.



  34. Karen Andrews on December 17, 2013 at 9:38 am

    I have at least two parts of me: one that loves to get out there, make connections, do bold and outrageous things, and another part that finds herself in these very visible places, and kind of freaks out! I’m not always sure how to keep them both in mind as I take steps, and to figure out how much visibility is too much.
    Great inquiry, thanks for bringing this up. Also, I think it’s important to understand how much of a womens’ issue this is!



  35. Carrie on January 21, 2014 at 11:02 am

    Hi Nathalie,

    I want to thank you for your videos. This one in particular was powerful for me. I just started filming videos for my business yesterday – I felt so awkward and self-conscious. I am going to take what you said to heart – it isn’t about me, it’s about the people I’m serving.



  36. Megan Evans on June 29, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    Thank you Nathalie, this message really resonated with me! It’s inspiring to hear that others share the same fears and continue to work through them :)



  37. Kristan Braziel on October 13, 2014 at 11:16 pm

    Thank you for the awesome article, Nathalie! Were you in my head?? I feel like you wrote this just for me. I’m struggling right now in getting my course out into the universe. It’s written and it’s awesome!! I just always come up with other things that “need” to be done instead of EXECUTING my dadgum course!

    I don’t know why I’m hesitating, but I definitely have some sort of resistance happening. I do think a lot of it is comfort-zone stuff, but maybe some perfectionism, too??

    Thanks again – you’re the best!



  38. Rachel on February 4, 2015 at 6:33 pm

    Thanks for the reminders on being seen and pushing past your comfort zone. Needed to here it. :-)



  39. Iris on February 5, 2015 at 5:42 am

    For years I blogged only on and off because I was so afraid of what people would think or of getting nasty comments. I finally shook off that attitude and have been blogging (and sharing my art, and making videos) regularly for over a year now. And guess what? In all that time I have gotten ZERO bad comments.