Ever Feel Like You Don’t Belong?

What to do when you don't belong


We all crave this feeling of belonging, being part of a group of people who love and accept us.

It’s primal.

We know that we have a higher chance of survival if we’re part of a group that will take care of us if we need it.

Ever feel like you don’t belong?

We’ve all felt like an outsider at one point…

What happens when you pick up social conditioning in your early years that tells you that you don’t belong?

We’ve all felt it one time or another. You see other people laughing together, hugging, or having a great time and you wonder why you’re not in on it all?

Social media makes this sense of missing out even stronger, and you start to wonder what’s wrong with you and why you’re not part of this group or that group?

You decide what identity you want to take on

You take on the identity of an outsider, and before you know it you’re the one who is cutting yourself off from belonging to groups or friendships you’d like to be a part of.

It’s not your fault that you’ve taken on these automatic patterns, society and pop culture thrive on creating separation. They tap into our basics human fears, and get us all riled up at the oppressors and mean girls when the ability to belong has always been in your own hands.

So how can you start to reclaim your belonging?

Reclaim Your Belonging

It starts with extending belonging out to others in your life and seeing what happens when you invite others into your own circles.

It can be life changing to see how a simple smile or sweet message can change someone else’s life or business.

But you also need to step up and ignore your “outsider conditioning” to join in the groups that you really want to be a part of.

Chances are the people who are in those groups will welcome you with open arms, if you approach them with a sense of confidence and love.

I’m not perfect and I don’t have this all figured out, because I sometimes still fall into the “I don’t belong” story that I learned in high school and through pop culture.

If you feel like you don’t belong in certain areas of your life, you need to practice feeling what it’s like to belong.

Creating Space for Belonging

One big mission in my life and business is to create the space for this belonging and community to take root.

I’ve seen the power of women supporting each other at my live Off The Charts events and in my private work. It’s amazing what deep shifts this kind of unconditional support can make in someone’s life.

You deserve to have this level of love, support, and friendship in your life too. And I understand that not everyone can make it to a live event, especially if you live on the other side of the planet.

That’s why I’m taking a stand and creating a safe, welcoming place for small business owners to support each other virtually.

Introducing the Heartquarters Insider


Many times we join online communities that grow to an unmanageable size, and we can’t form the bonds that are so powerful when there are hundreds or thousands of people in a tribe.

That’s why I’m creating small pods of 100 entrepreneurs who will get to know each other over the course of a year, and truly experience that sense of belonging that is so necessary to us as human beings.

I’m calling this experience the Heartquarters Insider because each of us deserves to feel like an insider, and to be supported in a safe heart quarter that’s designed to help your business flow.

Choose to belong.

But right now, I’d love to have you share in the comments below one way you’ve overcome the feeling of not belonging.

Was it approaching a group at a networking event and introducing yourself? Was it pulling someone who was standing on the sidelines onto the dance floor?

Let us know!

Want more? Join me and your fellow go-getting entrepreneurs in the Heartquarters Insider community, where we dive deeper into the skills and money-making strategies that will help you grow your business.

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I’m the founder of a tech startup called AccessAlly, a powerful course and membership platform for coaching industry leaders.

I’m also the creator of the free 30 Day List Building Challenge:

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